**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
