I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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