So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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