Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize