NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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