I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
