I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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