totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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