So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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