They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
