you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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