quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
