then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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