That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
