I love black thongs
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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