First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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