Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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