Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
