my being single is dangerous.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
