Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
