He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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