Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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