He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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