he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
