I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
ttyl tear gas
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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