I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
