ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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