Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
