he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
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We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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