$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
