is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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