HIV tests are more positive than that guy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
