U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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