My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
