at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
