I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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