You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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