its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I touched a dick in church today
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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