i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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