Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
