looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
