Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
