So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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