she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
