i was born a porn star she said
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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