hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I touched a dick in church today
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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