I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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