I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize