i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
