the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
