would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
