im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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