dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
