he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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