i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
