To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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