Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
