Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
