Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
