I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
