guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
